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Istarted to take saw palmetto as testosterone inhibitor and black cohoshas the source of estrogens. Some perceptible effect was visible already acouple of weeks later. I became more impressionable, sometimes I wascrying without any reason. I was expecting some changes of my body butprobably I needed more time for this to become noticeable.I must become a little inadvertent and my mother noticed a training braunder my shirt. I'd preferred neither to remember nor to rehearse whatshe'd said for me and what names she was calling me. My life was ruined.Mother was fighting for my masculinity if it was hidden by me from theworld. She was trying to control me in full what included my room'sinspections (she was looking for female clothes and pills), inspection ofmy pc (she had deleted all my bookmarks, browser's history and everythingI had downloaded). She was taking me (not letting me to go by myself buttaking with her) to barber's every month. It was the time when I hadexperienced a. The birthday cards join the photos in the rubbish bag along with an odd glove, the hat I had worn during my short spell as an Arsenal fan and a collection of business cards for clubs and restaurants which I’d accumulated during my first year in London. The pile of airmail envelopes with stamps from countries around the globe had to stay. Mum doesn’t get on with email and still enjoys writing letters in pen. She could be a travel writer in the style of Bill Bryson, and my father’s decision to spend his retirement sailing the world in a thirty foot yacht gives her plenty of subject matter. My own journalistic talent comes from her and one day I shall publish her letters. To appease her I reply regularly, it’s become a fascinating intellectual challenge to find the correct Poste Restante destination based on dad’s text message log of their voyages. At the bottom of the box is my old mobile. Shit, it’s almost a museum piece — how on earth could I have liked anything that naff. I’m about.
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